Monday, May 08, 2006

Death is no stranger

For the past several months, I've been expecting the call. Every time I would see Dad & Carolyn on my caller ID, I feared the bad news. The call came on Sunday morning at 9:30 AM. Even though I was expecting it, I was still taken by surprise.

My Grandma passed away Sunday morning at 1:00 AM. She had come down with the flu earlier in the week and her body just wasn't strong enough to fight it off. She was 94 years old.

It was a surprise to us because my Dad was out there just the week before and she was doing better than she had been in 9 months. He was able to have long conversations with her and she was able to leave the nursing home to visit my Aunt's new house.

Tony & I went to visit her while we were in Florida in November. She didn't talk much at all and I wasn't sure if she recognized me. When we first got there, my Aunt brought her out to sit with us while she went in to straighten up her room a bit. Here was our conversation:

Me: How are you doing, Grandma?
Grandma (looks down at her arm and pulls at her skin): I don't know how I got like this.
Me: How is that?
Grandma: So miserable.
Me: I'm sorry.

Tony & I weren't really sure what to say after that. We went to lunch at a cafe in the community she lives in. Tony didn't eat much of his lunch (too greasy). My Aunt told me later that Grandma said, "Kris' husband doesn't eat enough." She knew before we did that we were getting married.

I am sad that my Grandma is gone. I thought we would get to see her again when we were in Florida later this month. I know she is no longer miserable and I do take solace in that, but it doesn't make me less sad. I had already planned to Photoshop out my tattoos in the wedding picture we were going to send her so she wouldn't get upset (years ago she yelled at me and my dad after she spotted the one on my right arm).

My Grandma was the last of my blood-related grandparents to pass away. My Grandmother (Mom's mother) passed away when I was 8. I don't really remember her too well. My Granddaddy (Mom's father) passed away when I was 16. That hit me really hard. Shortly after his death, I decided that I was going to start having kids when I was 25 so they could have more time with their grandparents. Since I didn't meet The Right One until a few years ago, that plan didn't work out so well. I lost my Grandpa (Dad's father) my senior year in high school and I've had two uncles (Dad's brothers) and a great aunt & uncle (Mom's aunt & uncle) pass away. My Grandma is from a large family and most of her siblings have passed away, but I didn't know them too well. My point is, although many loved ones have died, it doesn't make it any easier when another passes away.

I love you, Grandma. I'll miss you.

1 comment:

betsy said...

oh kris... it is so very sad. grandparents are such a treasure. it is difficult to lose them. you're right-it doesn't get less sad. i still miss my grandmothers.

my thoughts are with you and your family.

i love you!